When did being poor become a moral issue?

The girl’s mother said, “You’re poor because your whole family hasn’t worked hard.”
“From the day he was born, his parents knew he would get married one day. For these past twenty-plus years, they didn’t prepare. It’s not that they were irresponsible—it’s that they don’t love their child.”
“His parents are irresponsible and don’t love him, so in the future they won’t love the daughter-in-law or the grandchildren either.”
Cat Brother saw these lines and, at first glance, they seemed to make some sense. But why does it feel like the more you think about it, the more wrong it gets 🤣
For example, when she says:
“It’s no big deal if the man in his twenties has no house and no car.”
“But his parents, from the day he was born, knew he would get married one day. For these past twenty-plus years, they didn’t prepare. It’s not that they were irresponsible—it’s that they don’t love their child.”
Being poor—when did it also become a moral problem?
If a family doesn’t prepare a wedding home for their son, does that mean the parents are lazy, selfish, and don’t love their child?
So it’s basically saying:
Parents knew from the child’s birth how important a high education is, and in the end the child didn’t get into Tsinghua or Peking University
So that also means the parents didn’t prepare seriously, and are irresponsible and don’t love their child?
Cat Brother slowly figured out where this logic is most powerful:
It only looks at the outcome and doesn’t ask whether ordinary people actually have the ability to do it.
Many parents don’t want to buy their children a house.
It’s just that they’ve already worked their whole lives in factories, construction sites, farmers’ markets, and other similar jobs. The money they earn has to support the family, pay for the child’s schooling, cover medical bills for the elderly, and so on.
And in the end, simply managing to raise the child safely may already have used up all their strength.
Maybe you can dislike a guy for having no house or car.
That’s your personal choice.
You can also feel that the conditions of two families don’t match.
That’s a real-world issue too.
But you can’t just, because someone else’s family is poor, immediately conclude:
“His parents are irresponsible and don’t love their child, so in the future they also won’t love the daughter-in-law or grandchildren.”
No money is an economic conditions issue.
Not being responsible is a character issue.
Cat Brother feels these two things can’t be mixed together.
Cat Brother now feels that when many people discuss marriage, why do they still need to package reality into a moral judgment?
If you look down on a family, just be honest and say the conditions aren’t a match.
There’s no need to add another line:
“You’re poor because your whole family hasn’t worked hard.”
Cat Brother’s final question to everyone is:
If a family doesn’t prepare a wedding home for their son, do you think it means the parents are irresponsible, and they should have prepared it all along?
Or do you think it’s normal for ordinary families to have limited ability, and you can’t equate poverty and poor economic conditions with not loving someone?