Many people's pain is not because they can't get what they want, but because they are obsessed with having to get it from a certain person. When you realize what you truly want, you'll find there are many ways to obtain it; but when you believe only a certain person can satisfy you, you give up your control over your life. True growth is not about studying why others don't give it to you, but about seeing clearly what you really want, and then actively creating, seeking, and obtaining it. From "You must give it to me" to "I know how to get it," essentially, it's from seeking externally to seeking internally; from treating others as the answer to becoming the answer yourself.