Women say: "All men who get close to you are not for your happiness." What she sees is: desire greater than genuine feelings, entitlement greater than giving, possessiveness and exploitation in human nature. Men say: "All women who get close to you are for your money." What he sees is: interests greater than emotions, value exchange greater than sincere connection, reality and choice in human nature. Behind this is often a lack of trust in emotions. So, pessimists summarize the harm into a pattern. But, the clear-minded see the pattern as probability. More deeply, the reason is often not that people change, but that society increasingly shifts the responsibilities that should be borne by itself onto love.