A person’s traits are inherently two-sided. If you enjoy the light they bring, you must also endure the shadow they cast. Emotionally steady people are often also more restrained and distant; those who are forceful and driven by ambition are also hard to truly tame into gentleness; romantic people usually have higher emotional intensity; and independent people are often less likely to lean on others. You like how smooth they are, so you have to accept their calculations; you like how they report and update you, so don’t resist their need for control; you admire their independence, and you must also accept that they may not be able to live without you—or rather, they may not necessarily need you in the way you imagine. The biggest misunderstanding people have is always thinking they can leave only a person’s strengths and delete their flaws. But the real reality is this: what draws you in—and what ultimately pricks you—are often the same thing.