Many people think that emotional intelligence is a stable personality trait. Actually, it's not. For most people, "emotional intelligence" is essentially a willingness to allocate attention and emotional resources. They don't lack it. Instead, they are unwilling to invest their cognitive resources in you. Therefore, when someone lacks patience, understanding, and care for you, it often doesn't mean they have low emotional intelligence. It’s more like: you are not yet important enough in their world hierarchy. Therefore, so-called "emotional intelligence" is often not a matter of ability. It’s a matter of prioritizing attention allocation.