I have been a divorce lawyer for 26 years: How can cryptocurrency become a new tool for the wealthy to hide assets?

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Source: Natalie Brunell

Compilation: Felix, PANews

Renowned divorce attorney James Sexton has been practicing for 26 years, handling thousands of cases, with clients ranging from billionaires to celebrities. In a recent podcast, he stated that money is not the root cause of marriage breakdown, but rather emotional disconnection. Below are the highlights from the podcast.

Host: Is money in marriage an important issue for couples?

James: Yes. I believe it’s not just about money, but what money symbolizes to people. For many, it symbolizes security and stability. If you grew up in an environment without money, money represents everything you long to have, like safety and feeling valued. Clearly, we all need money to meet our needs, feel secure, do what we want, and provide for our children. But behind this, in an uncontrollable world, money symbolizes our control over daily life.

Host: Based on your client base, does having more money make couples happier?

James: Not necessarily. But statistics do prove that economic shortages and hardships are extremely detrimental to marriage. If society wants to lower divorce rates and improve marital satisfaction, it should ensure better economic security for people. One of the biggest indicators of divorce is not having a college degree (which is the case for most Americans), and those with lower socioeconomic status have higher divorce rates. But wealth also hits a point of diminishing returns. When your finances are stable enough, divorce becomes very easy, allowing you to exit unhappy relationships easily. Most people, even if they are well-off, can’t afford a second house in Hampton or a second luxury car, but ultra-rich individuals can easily say, “I’ll move out, and even if I split half my assets, I’ll still be fine.” If you have 500 million dollars, splitting 250 million still leaves you well off. Excessive wealth makes money lose its meaning; people no longer have the motivation to resolve marital issues to maintain their standard of living.

Host: So, what proportion of marriages do you think end due to financial issues?

James: It’s always hard to answer such questions, like how many divorces are caused by infidelity or financial stress? But in my view, these are just symptoms of an underlying disease—disconnection. There are 7 billion people in the world, and when you meet someone and say, “This is the person I like most, I want to hold hands and face the unknown together,” that’s one of the most beautiful emotions. But most people lose their way. About 53% of marriages end in divorce, plus 5-10% of people are separated but not divorced, and another 10-20% regret getting married. So roughly 70% of relationships are not in a satisfying phase. The straw that breaks the marriage can be money, infidelity, but the root cause is disconnection, because happy people don’t cheat. Deeply connected partners are transparent about money; whether it’s good investments or bad decisions, they communicate honestly, and their partner feels proud rather than accused. It’s like early in a relationship—when your partner laughs loudly in their sleep, you find it adorable—but after five years, it becomes annoying, and the initial tolerance disappears. Most people work five days a week or even 50 weeks a year just to enjoy two or two weeks off, which is a strange game and system.

Host: How do successful couples manage money? Who manages the accounts? Do they merge finances?

James: There’s no one-size-fits-all model for love. The litmus test should be: how did you do it when your relationship was at its best? If it was him paying at first and now it’s changed, it’s worth asking why. If someone enjoys earning but hates managing money, and hands it over to their partner, that’s fine. It’s like cooking—if I like cooking and you don’t, splitting the task equally isn’t fair. But even if you dislike finance, you need to understand the basics in case I have an accident—you should know where the family’s money is. The core is honest communication and security. I’ve represented victims of domestic violence and control freaks; I know that without a sense of security (including physical, emotional, and financial safety), you can’t feel loved. Even if you don’t understand cryptocurrency, at least grasp the basics. Even if you’re not interested in your partner’s hobbies (like the World Cup or Game of Thrones), sharing excitement can bring you closer. Listening to each other openly won’t hurt anyone.

Host: Should all accounts and debts be fully disclosed on the wedding day?

James: Every marriage has a prenuptial agreement, either one drafted by the government (which can change at any time) or one you create yourselves. I don’t believe the government can set the best rules for the financial side of marriage. I like prenups because they’re binding and make clear what rules you’re playing by. In my book, I mention a “yours, mine, and ours” financial system. Marriage is like a Venn diagram with “you,” “me,” and the overlapping “us.” If you and I completely disappear into “us,” it kills what we love about each other, so some self-identity must be preserved. Financially, if everything is fully merged and transparent, I could buy a birthday gift and you’d know the price—that takes away surprises. It’s necessary for partners to keep some privacy and mystery. What’s mine is mine, what’s yours is yours, and joint accounts are a very clean prenup. If you can’t even have this difficult financial conversation, don’t get married.

Host: If there’s no prenup, can you sign a postnuptial agreement? Do most people sign prenups?

James: Yes, but postnups are harder because they require both parties to voluntarily agree after marriage. As for prevalence, prenups aren’t public records, so they’re actually more common than you think. I’ve drafted prenups for celebrities, but they publicly say “we love each other, no prenup,” while the actual agreement is locked in my safe. Today’s younger generation, with women owning more assets and higher education levels, normalizes and pragmatizes prenups.

Host: Can you share stories of couples involved in cryptocurrency investments?

James: I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 26 years. Back when everyone was using tape recorders, I heard about Bitcoin. In 1984, I attended a computer summer camp, I was interested in tech, so I started understanding what cryptocurrency and blockchain really are, trying to make others understand. Later, when other cryptocurrencies like Ethereum appeared, I felt many lawyers didn’t even know what they were talking about.

Cryptocurrencies later became assets, allowing anonymous transfer of wealth. After 2001’s 9/11, the Patriot Act was passed. One of its biggest impacts was changing financial regulation and how banks operate, making money transfers very difficult and traceable.

In the early days, cryptocurrencies were like the Wild West—almost impossible to trace because they’re decentralized, and people didn’t use platforms like Coinbase or any easily identifiable or subpoenaed platforms. So I wanted to understand crypto early on—to track assets that might need division in divorce, and to prevent hiding assets; also to advise clients on options in divorce planning.

As cryptocurrencies grew, Bitcoin’s price soared, then climbed even higher. But the legal community—marriage lawyers—realized many still knew little about crypto. For example, in New York, a “Net Worth Statement” must be filed during divorce, listing all assets and liabilities. The 2026 version is the first to include cryptocurrencies.

Host: Really?

James: Yes. The New York State Unified Court System decided only in 2026 to include cryptocurrencies in this document. Before that, they were listed under “Other.”

Host: So, assets must be reported to the government for division? How does that work?

James: Yes, full financial disclosure is required to determine how to divide or waive assets. A few weeks ago, I had a client who was a Bitcoin enthusiast; he preferred to give his wife other assets rather than keep his Bitcoin. When the divorce started, Bitcoin was over $100k, then dropped to over $60k, so at the time of division, he could say he got a good deal.

Of course, many people lie, swearing they have nothing. I had a case where the other side claimed they lost their hard wallet password and it became a “brick.” Midway through litigation, I realized, “You have a way,” and in fact, they did have the ability to recover the password, but they didn’t insist. We went along with it, and she made concessions on other terms. Often, because spouses and their lawyers don’t understand Bitcoin, those who do can take huge advantage. As a lawyer, you must keep learning new things and understand how they work.

Host: Are most divorces you see filled with hostility?

James: I’m like a weapon. If it’s a simple divorce, people wouldn’t hire me. I handle highly contentious and complex financial trials. Sometimes, people set up structures like generation-skipping trusts or intentionally defective grantor trusts to avoid taxes, which complicates asset division in divorce. Clients worth over a billion use these loopholes, paying less tax than a janitor.

Host: Do you think that’s fair?

James: That’s the game’s rules. If there’s a gray area, the fault lies with those who set the rules, not those who exploit them. I personally don’t cheat or dodge taxes. The world is indeed unfair—children starving on one side, and my clients worth 8 billion or celebrities flying private jets to discuss environmental issues. But as long as it’s within the law, that’s the current system.

Host: Have you seen couples with very bad situations who eventually reconcile?

James: Yes. Sometimes, you have to almost lose it to realize how important it is. Like a toothache—you don’t appreciate it until it hurts. When a partner is away on a trip, you truly feel the silence and pain of their absence.

Host: With the terrible divorce rates, how can struggling couples repair their relationship?

James: We fall in love quickly, but getting out of love is like bankruptcy—slow and then a sudden fall off a cliff. You don’t need grand gestures; saving a relationship is about “small acts of reconnecting.” Partners often spiral into negativity: “Because he didn’t do it, I won’t either.” But you can reverse that spiral. For example, leave a note in the morning saying, “Last night’s show was fun, I married the most beautiful girl in the world,” which costs nothing but means everything. Text your wife that a song reminded you of her; tell your husband he’s the most handsome, sexiest man you’ve ever seen. It only takes two seconds. We all crave connection, which requires a little vulnerability and kindness. Constructive criticism is good, but constant affirmation and building your partner’s confidence can bring positive change. I once grew a beard; an ex complained it was prickly and made shaving a burden, while another praised me for looking like the lead in “Mad Men,” making me want to shave three times a day. How you express yourself matters—focusing on positives is far more effective than direct criticism.

Host: I totally agree. How we treat others often reflects our inner struggles; hurt people hurt others.

James: Yes, spreading warmth and kindness to others also makes you feel better. Love is a verb. Couples can spend ten minutes a week walking and asking each other: “Tell me three things I did this week that made you feel loved? Three things that attracted you? Three things I could do better?” In life, small gestures like a hand on the shoulder when you’re down or a favorite meal can make someone feel loved. If you ask a man to help open a kimchi jar and praise him, he’ll be very proud no matter his age. Everyone wants to be admired—charming, smart. These are free; algorithms don’t promote these methods, but they’re the simplest ways to make a divorce lawyer like me unemployed.