Helping others mainly depends on boundaries, not the degree of involvement. Overly worrying or taking on responsibilities for others not only fails to change the other person but also drains oneself and may even cause resentment; truly effective help is providing support within one's capacity when the other person is willing, but not making choices for them or forcibly changing their perceptions. Mature compassion is sober restraint: not controlling the outcome, not over-consuming oneself, offering support when appropriate, and stepping back when it is not.

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