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The simplest way to ruin a child is to tell them, "You need to study hard." Only by studying diligently can you find a good job; only by enduring hardship can you become someone successful. But unfortunately, every failed parent especially likes to say this. You must remember, children are blank slates; whatever you define as, they will believe. If you define studying as苦的 (hard),苦逼的 (miserable), tiring, then they will think it’s苦 (hard). All things in life are learning—dressing up is learning, playing basketball is learning, talking is learning, falling in love is learning, making friends is learning, playing games is learning.
However, parents deliberately separate textbook learning from social learning. They don’t find other learning苦 (hard), but only learning itself苦 (hard). So children are unwilling to study. Once you tell them studying is苦 (hard), you will ruin their most important learning experience. Yes, I ask, why should I be interested in him? People are lazy; why should I be interested in him? If they lose interest in learning, then all efforts rely on willpower. But how long can they sustain that? It’s like you don’t like someone but insist on living with them for a lifetime—you will feel very uncomfortable.
Therefore, children subjected to this kind of education will never have the concept of lifelong learning because lifelong learning equals lifelong苦 (hard). They believe the reason for ten years of苦 (hard) study is so that after graduation, they can toss away a book and enjoy wealth and honor as you see. As you see, most children, after the college entrance exam, excitedly tear up their textbooks—such a feeling is wonderful; they are liberated. But this is wrong because their cognition is flawed. Why is it flawed? Because you have instilled in them a wrong concept: what should learning be like? Learning should be joyful, seamless, and heartfelt.
It’s when I encounter a problem, I go learn; I solve the problem, and I feel very happy. For example, if I want to paint a picture, I can forget sleep and food to learn. If I want to play a piece of music, I can磨一手老茧 (wear out my fingertips). If I want to study classical mechanics, I can spend three days and nights immersed in the mathematical principles of natural philosophy. That’s the proper state of learning. In other words, parents should not tell children to learn, but guide them to stimulate their interest in learning. For example, why does he want to paint? You can guide him to like a particular painting. Why does he want to play a piece? Because he wants to create a piece he likes. Why does he want to study classical mechanics? Because he wants to understand why the apple falls to the ground. This will stimulate their interest and make them love learning.
So, true learning should be like playing games, finding joy in staying overnight at internet cafes. Only then can you understand what learning really looks like. Why can you persist in doing something? Because you genuinely like it. With interest as a premise, diligence becomes meaningful. Everyone’s abilities are actually similar; the key to success lies in interest. When you have an interest-driven trend, you will unconsciously do more than others, persist longer than others, and perform better than others. If someone has never experienced the joy of learning, they cannot feel what an intracranial高潮 (high), numb and regretful.