A man born in 1990 writes his own story

I had a bit to drink today, and I can’t help but感慨（感慨）! I don’t know how to take the next step—I’m lost, confused!

I was born in 1990. I stand at a crossroads in life—36 years old!

I thought this was an age full of infinite possibilities, but reality slapped me in the face: no extraordinary abilities, no stunning education, an ordinary look, an ordinary family, and a very empty wallet. I have plenty of desires. While doubting myself, I gritted my teeth and kept moving forward; while yearning for a bright future, I looked at money and wanted to earn more. I want my family to live a better life. I want to be closer to my hometown and native land! Before I knew it, it’s almost been 40 years.

My life has been drifting for nearly forty years, as if I’ve wasted time with no progress. Over the years I’ve tried to make a living in many directions—rushing about everywhere, stumbling and falling—yet I’ve achieved nothing.

With a heart full of bitterness, when I look back, I can’t help but well up with tears.

Wanting to buy osmanthus flowers and share wine—yet it’s never like the days of youth. What a pity: the flowers can bloom again, but people can’t return to being young!

I thought my 40s were still far away. When I look back, is it already right in front of me?