Top 10 Behaviors of People With Low Emotional Intelligence

1. Interrupting

When someone is seriously sharing and venting to you, and you get cut off before they even finish, that feeling of not being respected instantly extinguishes their desire to express themselves. Even if what you say is perfectly reasonable, in the other person’s eyes, you’ll just come across as rude.

Correction methods:

1. When someone is talking, silently count to 3 in your head before you speak.
2. Replace “I think” with “What you mean is…” First restate what the other person said, then express your own viewpoint.
3. Focus on the other person’s tone, facial expressions, and emotions, and listen carefully.

2. Being preachy

The essence of preaching is assuming, “I understand more than you; I’m stronger than you.” With the posture of “it’s for your own good,” you judge others from the moral high ground, which easily makes people feel not respected. Instead of that, a simple “I’m here with you” can be far more powerful.

Correction methods:

1. If the other person didn’t ask, don’t offer output proactively.
2. Replace “You should…” with “I get you.”
3. Don’t use rhetorical questions to fight back: avoid hurtful questions like “Why do you only punish me, not them?”

3. Being too blunt

“I’m just straightforward, don’t take it personally,” but in reality, every sentence is like a needle, stabbing people so that they instantly don’t want to talk. Being blunt has never been an advantage—when you don’t consider other people’s feelings, that’s just being unpolished.

Correction methods:

1. Pause for a few seconds before speaking, and think about whether you should say it.
2. Practice holding your tongue. When reading or watching TV, just watch and don’t speak—control your mouth.
3. Write the things you say by mistake in a notebook, and flip through it when you’re free.
4. The habit of asking back

When a coworker asks you whether you want to print the document in two copies, and you casually say “What do you think?”, doesn’t it feel awful all over, like a nameless anger is pressing on your chest, leaving the other person extremely speechless? Even though this kind of rhetorical question doesn’t draw blood, it’s fatal with every “cut.”

Correction methods:

1. Speak well—use declarative sentences instead of rhetorical questions. Change “What do you think?” to “Just print two copies.”
2. Use “I” instead of “you.”
3. Observe your own emotions. When your mood is bad, pay attention to how you respond.

5. Enjoys taking digs at people

When opinions don’t align, you come out with “What do you even know,” and when someone offers a suggestion, you shut them down with “Then you do it.” To others, you’re the kind of person who’s full of thorns and fundamentally impossible to communicate with.

Correction methods:

1. When you feel like taking digs, make a gesture: interlock your ten fingers with both hands, place them on your abdomen, and hold it for one minute.
2. Practice back-and-forth “diss” lines with your family, and think from the other person’s perspective.
3. Notice other people’s strengths more often, and give sincere praise.

6. Likes to deny others

No matter what you say, they always respond with “no, no, no.” If you deny people like that for too long, there’s no desire left to communicate further, because the more you say, the more you get denied.

Correction methods:

1. Pay attention to whether you often start your sentences with “no.”
2. It helps a lot to affirm first, then deny.
3. Adjust your negation body language: frowning, making a grimace, crossing your arms, and so on.

7. Likes to expose others’ flaws

Exposing someone’s shortcomings essentially tramples on their self-respect—it's the most brutal way to communicate. Without regard for the setting, you poke at the other person’s pain points, and it only makes it hard for them to save face. Even if you mean no harm, they’ll still remember it.

Correction methods:

1. Don’t keep probing the other person’s pain points.
2. If you can avoid mentioning someone’s shortcomings, don’t bring them up. If you truly can’t help it, use “praise” instead.
3. Take the initiative and let others come and expose your own “wounds.”

8. Loves making fun of others

Xiao Wang really loves reading. When coworkers mock him, calling him a total bookworm, and then a coworker writes the data wrong and loudly jokes about it in front of everyone: “How can you not even know this?” These remarks look like jokes, but they hurt people in ways you can’t even see.

Correction methods:

1. Treat the other person like a stranger—people don’t mock strangers.
2. Don’t talk about jokes the other person might mind; if you’re not sure, don’t say them.
3. Put all your attention on your own growth, and you’ll have no time to mock others.

9. Likes to show off

People who love showing off unconsciously put themselves in a higher position and others in a lower one. Through comparison, they highlight their own superiority. Once or twice might be fine, but the more it happens, the more people will deliberately avoid them and won’t want to interact with them anymore.

Correction methods:

1. Cultivate internal interests and hobbies to enrich your spiritual world.
2. If you really get money and succeed, learn to change circles instead of boasting in front of acquaintances.
3. Don’t let friends become a stage for your showing off.

10. Lacks empathy

For example, when a friend goes through setbacks, you only say coldly, “What’s the big deal?” but you don’t realize that this seemingly simple sentence makes people feel utterly lonely and helpless.

Correction methods:

1. Just be a “listening ear,” and don’t stir up chaos.
2. Treat the people around you well—offer more encouragement.
3. Evaluate less, listen more, and wait for the other person to calm down.