My wife got together with my best friend. How do I handle this?

I want to ask for some advice. I've been troubled by marital issues lately. My wife and my best friend got together, and my best friend wants me to divorce her and let him have her. I've known my wife for 12 years, been married for 7. In the last two years, because we ran a couple's shop and were together every day, our conflicts deepened, and we didn't communicate in time. Then my best friend took advantage of the situation, and they got together.

My wife wants to return to the family but can't bear to leave him. If she continues living with me, she's afraid there will be a rift. I've been following you for a long time and have done some thinking. I'm in pain—betrayed by both my best friend and my wife. I think separation is the best option because once trust is lost, it's hard to rebuild. But I also feel a bit unwilling, like maybe I should try to repair things. I'm hesitant. I'd like to hear Uncle Cai's opinion. Could you write an article? Thanks, Xiao Zhan.

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Brother, first of all, your mindset is strong. Most people wouldn't be this rational in such a situation, and they'd ask me to analyze this publicly. Usually, the messages I get in the background are like, "I hope to get Xiao Zhan's advice, but please don't post it publicly, thank you" (though maybe these friends have recommended many people to follow this account and are afraid of being recognized). Since you have such a good mindset, I'll talk about it, just as a chat with you. I think your best friend is pretty shameless, not because of personal moral issues about men and women, but simply because of his nerve. Think about it—you can't still be best friends now, right? So on what grounds does he make this request? Why should you let him have her? Who is he? What friendship is left between you? So you can do whatever you want about this, without considering his position at all.

Now, I understand your conflicted feelings, but I have to say, this is irreversible. You need to fully understand that. It's not just about "once a woman's heart changes, it's hard to win her back" or "worrying about whether she'll do this again in the future." It's that this is a window paper—it can't be broken. For example, if you discovered your wife was with someone else today, and you wanted to continue the marriage and save it, you shouldn't confront her outright. Instead, you need to use some techniques to make her vaguely feel that you might know, so she'll tone it down. Then you need to leave that place, that environment, away from factors that might "trigger relapse," and rebuild your relationship by filling up your time together, letting it naturally fade. Usually, in the early stages of this, it's easier to break them apart. Even if it means sacrificing the couple's shop business, it's worth it. Of course, you need a reasonable excuse for it. In the end, as long as that window paper isn't broken, even if your wife suspects you might already know, it's completely different—unbroken, 99% suspicion is still just suspicion, not 100%. But once it's broken, you must understand that it's impossible for you two to be together. It's not just about whether you can accept it; she will constantly live in guilt and fear that you might bring up the past or use it to control her. So she will always live in a state of "inferiority." So for the sake of both you and her, it's better not to stay together.

Finally, I want to tell you that your current state is actually good. Really, this might not be a bad thing. Worst comes to worst, what if your best friend is actually more compatible with your ex-wife? According to the principle of efficiency, your union might have been less efficient, and your ex-wife only now found someone more suitable. Then you should let this deal go through. This may not be in line with human compassion, but it follows the laws of nature. As for you, you can focus all your energy on how to run your career well, filling up your time. If you do that, your future achievements will be much higher than now. Then, even if you find another partner, she will likely be of higher quality, because of the value-matching principle—partner, I mean partner here, finding a partner doesn't necessarily mean finding a wife or someone to be with until the end. Life is like that—it's made of segments. Success isn't only about reaching the end. You can enjoy each segment on the way up and let go on the way down. Maintaining quality and quantity is the real success. Remember, there will always be risks in relationships. No matter how you try to avoid them, it's useless, because it's not something you decide alone. So whether you find someone or not in the future, don't take it too seriously. Your career—only your career—is your true companion. It's time to wake up. *pat on the back* #0成本拿2股SK海力士