Some say that if a child wants something, their parents will buy it—and that they’ll turn out spoiled when they grow up. In fact, the key has never been whether to buy or not; it’s whether the child, in their needs, feels understood and respected. Children who have truly been loved in a stable, steady way are often less likely to develop an excessive desire to possess material things as they grow up. Instead, they’re more likely to believe that they are worthy of having what they want—and more willing to go after what they deserve. By contrast, a child whose needs are repeatedly denied for a long time may learn not thrift, but “I don’t dare ask,” “I don’t deserve it,” or “I feel embarrassed to accept it.” What parents give their children that matters most is not satisfying every wish, but helping them form an underlying belief: my needs are important, and I am worthy of being loved.