"That day I was twenty-one, in the prime of my life. I had many extravagant hopes. I wanted to love, to eat, and to suddenly become a cloud half bright and half dark in the sky."

When I was 18, I hoped countless times that when I turned 21, I would say this line from Wang Xiaobo's "Golden Age." But only when I truly turned 21 did I realize that a person doesn't suddenly change from 18 to 21; life is a slow process of being hammered.
Originally, we will never become that hammered cow.