I’ve been thinking—maybe my first half of life is a jar of sugar.


Inside the sugar jar there is a piece of cinnabar that looks exactly like the sugar; in my panic and unease, I’m forced to eat the candies one by one.
No matter how sweet the candy is, fear will bury it.
But a sugar jar full of cinnabar is different—it’s helpless death.
So what we need is to keep eating these two jars, sugar and cinnabar, or to fully understand the difference between cinnabar and sugar, and then go find a jar that’s all sugar again.
A candy containing cinnabar—when you eat it, it brings pain and unease—it’s in a jar full of candies.
So what’s the difference between it and a jar full of cinnabar candies?
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