I just remembered an old proverb that most people only know half of: "Clear water has no fish." But actually, there's a second half, which few remember: "A cautious person will have no disciples." When combined, these two halves form the true living tools of the ancients.

The beauty lies in the fact that the first half talks about nature, and the second half about human relationships. If the water is too clear, why can't fish survive? First, they might be exposed to natural predators; second, overly clear water indicates a lack of nutrients. Fish, like us, cannot survive without essentials; ultimately, they will be eliminated by the environment. Similarly, water that is too clear and fishless is a warning that excessive harshness will not keep anyone around.

The second half of the saying refers to people. "Father" here doesn't mean parents but signifies overly meticulous, overly clever observation. Someone too wise, too judgmental, will find it hard to have companions. Why? Because no one wants to always be judged critically, constantly demanded to be perfect.

I find this very realistic. At home, with parents, we are often too strict about their limitations instead of trying to understand. With spouses, we keep pointing out each other's flaws instead of finding common ground. With children, criticism increases instead of encouragement. With friends, we always look at them with a more scrutinizing eye than usual.

But the truth is: no one is perfect. Gold of ninety-nine percent doesn't exist, and neither do people. So why do we demand others to be perfect? Why don't we try to be more tolerant, more understanding, less judgmental?

If you want to have companions in life, want a harmonious family, want smooth work, then the first thing is to learn how to "look past" others' flaws. Find common ground, accept differences, harmonize without needing to be exactly the same. That is the secret of water that is too clear and fishless — the secret of true interpersonal conduct.

Life is very short. Don't value every small matter, don't be biased, don't always try to prove you're right. Tolerance and understanding are not weakness; they are a form of cultivation, a wise way of living.