How does a person "trap" your words in 9 major steps!


Detailed explanation of the 9 major steps
Step 1: Pull (Bring you closer)
The goal is to make you let your guard down. Contains 3 small steps:
Flatter (Praise): Compliment your abilities, praise your personality, make you feel he understands you, creating a sense of kinship.
Proactive exposure: Proactively reveal a trivial "secret" or embarrassing story (like childhood mishaps, complaints about parents, but never reveal bad-mouthing the boss). This makes you feel he is "one of us."
Empathy: When you complain, he says "I also think he's unreasonable," "If I were in your shoes, I'd be angry too." This is to unify positions and make you completely lower your defenses.
Step 2: Open (Open-ended questions)
Purpose: To get you to talk more.
Method: He won't directly ask "What do you think of this leader?" (which is closed-ended), but instead asks "How do you feel?" or "What do you think?"
Result: Induces you to express your attitude and emotions, ultimately revealing your secrets.
Step 3: Knock (Sideways probing)
Method: Use others as a pretext to make you self-incriminate.
Example: "I heard from others that your relationship with this leader is average, is that true?"
Result: To clarify rumors, you will involuntarily explain and justify, revealing the truth (for example, that your relationship is actually good, or really bad).
Step 4: Mistake (Intentionally say something wrong)
Method: Intentionally give incorrect information for you to correct.
Example: He knows your salary is 10k but deliberately asks, "Is your salary only five or six thousand?" or, even if your relationship with the boss is good, he insists it’s average.
Result: To correct his mistake, you will blurt out the real situation ("No, I make 10,000!"), thus revealing the truth.
Step 5: Chase (Continuous escalation/progression)
Method: Ask layered questions like peeling an onion.
Example: Ask "Are you busy?" -> "Busy with what?" -> "Which project?" -> "Who is responsible?" -> "What’s the budget?"
Result: Many people’s house-buying budgets are gradually uncovered this way by salespeople.
Step 6: Emotion (Create emotions)
Method: Incite anger, make you feel wronged, or boast.
Principle: When you become emotional (excited), the brain loses its subjectivity and rationality, your mouth loosens, and you speak your inner thoughts.
Step 7: Switch (Switch topics)
Method: During the previous empathy and relaxation, suddenly switch to a different topic unintentionally.
Result: Because you are unguarded and still in a relaxed state, you subconsciously answer the new question, thus being trapped by the conversation.
Step 8: Protect (Confidential exchange)
Method: "Let me tell you something, you must keep it secret."
Principle: After you promise to keep it secret, a psychological contract is formed. He then shares an insignificant "secret." At this point, you feel that since he trusts you, you should exchange a secret too.
Result: He takes your real information, while you only exchange a false secret.
Step 9: Summarize (Recap and conclude)
Method: Summarize your words. "So, you think this way, right?"
Result: As long as you nod to confirm, he draws a conclusion about you, and your words are completely trapped. Your stance is also locked in.
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