How to remove your own "dengwei"?


What do contemporary young people dislike the most?
Dengwei.
What is dengwei?
It's not that what elders say or do necessarily has dengwei,
but a feeling, such as being preachy, condescending, showing off,
always speaking in the tone of elders or experienced people to point out to young folks.

Many people think this is a bit of an overreaction,
can't I just normally remind young people,
share my experience normally?
Do I have to stay silent while others go astray?
If so, where is the line between "normal" and "dengwei"?

Three points.

Some think that as long as you're educating others, it's dengwei,
which is incorrect.
So if I share content, is that dengwei too?
Sharing my experiences and thoughts with unspecified people,
is not dengwei, because I am not preaching to a specific person,
the ones who want to listen are those who actively pay attention—
here's the first point: it must be voluntary.

Dengwei refers to forcing it on someone who doesn't want to listen,
trying to impose your sharing, your experience,
to show off how awesome you are;
but if someone actively seeks advice, it's different.
Bodhi Patriarch told Wukong, "Showing off your strength in front of others will inevitably cause trouble"—
Wukong showing off is dengwei, but
Bodhi Patriarch was teaching Wukong, not showing off,
so why isn't that dengwei?
Because Wukong was seeking the Way voluntarily.

The second point is that there must be reason, evidence, and logic,
explaining clearly why something won't work if not done that way.
It's not vague, not "Don't listen to elders, you'll suffer,"
not using experience to pressure others,
but explaining the underlying mechanisms behind the matter.

Dengwei is actually a kind of unreasonable fuss,
meaning you don't really understand the internal logic yourself,
can't explain it clearly,
but still insist that others listen to you,
so you can only pressure people with seniority or status.
When the final result is indeed "correct,"
people often mock those who "don't listen"—
it's clear that your inability to explain is what causes others to refuse to listen,
but you insist on blaming the other party based on the outcome, saying "they should listen."

The last point: even if others haven't actively asked you,
but you still want to advise a specific person,
say something they don't know,
don't say nonsense that even a three-year-old knows,
or things they already plan to do.

For example, eating well—who doesn't know?
Drinking more water—who doesn't know?
When someone is doing 1+1,
who asked you to answer that it's 2?
Don't remind others about very simple matters—
that's not helpful, it's stealing their question,
stealing their sense of achievement;
and don't repeatedly "care" about things that others normally do,
or even if they don't do them, the consequences are minor—
that's called "releasing your own anxiety."

In short, your words should be as useful as possible,
or don't speak at all.
Answering simple questions excessively,
is actually saying "I have no higher value to show."

Thus, the remedy for removing dengwei is as follows:

1. Try not to preach to specific people
2. Only teach when asked
3. Share with reason, evidence, and logic
4. Don't say nonsense #加密市场行情震荡
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