Recently, I've been reflecting on interpersonal relationships and realized I used to be way too timid. I was always habitually trying to please others, but as a result, the more I was kind to people, the more arrogant they became. I only truly understand this now.

Actually, many problems stem from myself. If you have no principles, or have principles but lack the courage to uphold them, others will gradually test your bottom line. It's like at first everyone is very polite, but with each interaction, the other person subtly tests your temper. Once they discover you're timid, they will escalate their behavior. Once a pattern of "they are strong, you are weak" forms, it becomes especially difficult to change.

So my current approach is, whenever something makes me uncomfortable, even if I don't retaliate directly, I will look at the other person with an expressionless face, making the atmosphere instantly tense. That way, they will understand that you have boundaries and that you are someone with prickles. Long-term relationships are not built on submission and endless concessions, but on others' respect for you.

Another very important point is not to be easily manipulated. When you first meet some people, they might try to get you to help out casually, but that's actually testing whether you can control the situation. If you keep agreeing, their demands will become increasingly excessive. Eventually, you'll become that kind of do-gooder, and not only will others not appreciate it, but they will also take advantage of you for free.

As for refusing, you need to learn to say no decisively and concisely, with a firm tone, without stammering as if you did something wrong. Also, don't look at others' faces for approval. Or follow the principle of value exchange—you help me, I help you; that’s fair.

I used to think helping others was a good thing, but I later realized that overly kind people often end up with bad outcomes. Helping once means helping for a lifetime; if you don't help the hundred and first time, the other person will see you as an enemy. That’s not worth it.

Those who are not so kind tend to live more clearly—they have solid friends around them. They know how to refuse, how to ask for things, and how to give appropriately. This kind of interpersonal relationship is healthy.

Now my principles are very clear. Not paying back borrowed money means blocking the person; being overwhelmed with negative energy means staying away; if someone dares to bully me, I will directly fight back. I no longer sacrifice myself to maintain all relationships. Meaningless socializing is just a waste of time; it’s not worth maintaining at all.

And I also need to improve my aura. Walk with steady steps, don’t look down; when sitting, place your hands on your upper body rather than your lower body because that’s low energy. Your gaze should be gentle but firm, able to hold eye contact for a long time without avoiding, which is what’s called confidence and composure. Slow down all movements—turning your head, raising your hand, standing up—be slow but precise. That will make people feel you are calm and powerful.

When speaking, eliminate filler words like "ah" and "la," and change "可以呀" to just "可以," so it sounds more powerful. When uncertain, say "I'll consider it" instead of "maybe" or "probably," which are low-energy words.

Finally, I want to say, stop asking yourself whether you are worthy or not. There’s no such thing as being worthy or not—if you dare and actively pursue, many beautiful things are worth having. From now on, face choices head-on, don’t hide anymore. Do what you’ve never done before, approach someone you want to talk to, make that call immediately. Even if you fail, it’s no loss—after all, you never truly owned it in the first place.

Having a true confidant in life is enough; the real meaning of that phrase is to tell you not to imagine people as purely perfect. So instead of maintaining all relationships, focus on those who are truly worth it.