50 Humorous Sayings

Jot down a few—once I speak, I’ll make everyone laugh

1. Even though I’m not very popular, I’m great at annoying people
2. There are way too many smart people—I have to stand up for the fools
3. My strength is admitting my mistakes and correcting them; my weakness is making the same mistakes again after I’ve corrected them
4. Hi, I’m a scammer. This is my first time scamming—so just transfer me the money
5. When it’s late at night and everything is quiet, I pick up a book and cover my instant noodles with it
6. When you say you love me, even the punctuation marks are fake
7. I really want to go set up a stall, but I can’t finish the “pies” you drew for me
8. I recently went to the dentist. The doctor said, “How can your teeth be so worn down at such a young age?” And I said, “These years, I’ve been clenching through it.”
9. If life deceives you, don’t panic—use a beauty camera app to deceive life
10. Hear what you have to say, and it’s like hearing a speech
11. Haven’t seen you in a week—it feels like seven days apart
12. That’s just how things are; the specifics still depend on the situation
13. If you set aside the content, what you said is honestly correct
14. If I had even a little ability, I wouldn’t end up having absolutely none
15. You’re definitely going to make it—unless you can’t
16. Working hard might not be seen by the boss, but resting definitely will be
17. Success requires effort after all, so rest today and tomorrow first
18. I hope everyone here can step out of their comfort zone—so I can step in
19. I finally broke through the career bottleneck, only to find there’s still a bottle cap
20. The founding emperor’s venture wasn’t even halfway done, and the budget was spent halfway through
21. Lie flat at work, but don’t lie too peacefully—otherwise you’ll get stepped on
22. In the world, there are two things hardest of all: putting thoughts into other people’s heads, and putting money into your own pocket
23. In the past, I was always nice to the people I cared about; now, I’m only nice to the people who care about me
24. Go out and see more while you’re young—later, when you deliver takeout, you’ll finally understand the roads
25. Gold will always shine, but you’re just an old buddy, you know
26. Life makes you suffer for a while first; once you’ve adapted, it makes you suffer for a lifetime
27. My money wasn’t blown in by the wind—but it really does look like it was blown away by the wind
28. Along the way, if you have to suffer a little while I’m with you, I’m willing to—if there’s too much suffering, forget it
29. If you don’t work hard now, later when others “wall-poke” you, the wall they hit will be made of bricks you搬
30. I can suffer with you, but I can’t suffer for myself
31. There was no road in the world. Once people walk on it, I don’t know which road I should take
32. The food you cook is somewhere between tasty and awful
33. I can’t make everyone satisfied, but I can make everyone dissatisfied
34. Isn’t a failure on the path to success also a kind of success?
35. A woman dresses to please herself; a man stays poor to please himself
36. Life has given me so many chances to get fatter—I’ve grabbed every single one tightly
37. I wanted to become breathtakingly beautiful, but in the end I got fat in three layers
38. A head full of wisdom—it literally inflated my face
39. As long as I eat enough to stay round, no one can look down on me
40. I used to rely on my looks to eat. Later, I almost starved to death—so I gave it up
41. Between glowing and getting heated up, I chose to go crazy
42. After finally getting used to my face, I have to get a haircut—and then get used to it all over again
43. Exercise is a kind of enjoyment, but I’m not greedy for that kind of enjoyment
44. You’re exhausted today, aren’t you? You’ve been running around in my head all day
45. Even if my phone breaks, it can’t stop me from wanting to chat with you
46. Is there something wrong with my phone? Why didn’t I receive your message?
47. What a huge wind—could it be that it was all blown by you?
48. Good night = I’m here at night. You’d better behave
49. I know you’re in a hurry, but you, for now, don’t rush
50. Bro, I’m spilling my heart to you—and you’re playing tricks on me