I don't know if you have ever traded contracts with a large position?

That feeling is truly hard to describe in words.
Staring at the K-line, afraid to sleep, afraid to move, every fluctuation feels like a knife scraping.
You thought you were betting on profit, but ended up losing even your sleep. At three in the morning, half-asleep, you refresh the order book, your heartbeat following the price fluctuations. The direction hasn’t changed, yet you still can’t help but look.
The scariest thing about contracts is not losing money, but that it steals the emotional stability you should have had.
The contract hasn't exploded, but I exploded first.
A cup of tea, a pack of cigarettes, a contract to carry for a day.
A needle, a body full of sweat, and a position liquidation all in vain.