Many people who have mistreated you will not treat you better because they feel indebted to you; instead, they will subconsciously guard against you. Your very existence is evidence that they once mistreated you. To preserve their self-image as “a good person,” they will constantly rationalize their behavior, exaggerate your flaws, and even take the initiative to belittle you, eventually rewriting “I wronged you” as “You had problems to begin with.” So often, the more someone has hurt you, the more they need to prove that you do not deserve to be treated well. Because only by turning you into “the one at fault” can they wash themselves clean of the position of “the perpetrator.”