I only realized after clearing my positions in the end that the most hidden leverage in this game was never on the chart, but added into my own life.

I thought I was just placing a few orders, but in reality, I had secretly mortgaged those stable days, my parents' hopes, and the tears I had shed without even realizing it. The candlestick chart distorted my dopamine threshold to an abnormal level, making me numb to all the ordinary warmth in reality. Then the Fed released hawkish signals, and my dreams shattered. Turning around, I could barely accept the care my parents offered. I always thought I was playing against the market maker, but actually I was just a madman, trading the most sincere human emotions for a pile of illusory bubbles. The moment I shifted the center of my life onto the chart, I had already lost.