Rich people—what do they really get up to in private? Let me start with a story I heard.

A friend of mine runs a high-end travel agency, specializing in VIP clients. Once, a client chartered a yacht for a three-day, two-night trip, spending nearly two million. My friend handled the whole arrangement and said those days were an eye-opener. The yacht had a private chef, a bartender, and a photographer. Every meal was made from ingredients flown in, and they drank bottles of wine worth tens of thousands. At night, there were fireworks shows, blooming over the sea, lighting up half the sky.

I asked her, what did those people do on the boat? She thought for a moment, then said: "Actually, nothing special. Just drinking, chatting, sunbathing. Some brought their partners, some didn't. But those who didn't wouldn't find anyone local. You're overthinking it."

She paused, then said something that surprised me. "Actually, the richer people are, the more careful they are." She said she's served many high-net-worth clients, and most are very cautious. It's not that they don't want to have fun—they don't dare. Because the cost is too high. A scandal could ruin decades of accumulation. A moment of indulgence could break up a family or shake a company. "You think they don't want to? They don't dare."

Those words were later confirmed by another person.

A friend of a friend, an investor worth hundreds of millions. Once, over drinks, we talked about this topic. Someone asked, is it true that the wealthy circle is as wild as the internet says? He was holding a peanut, brought it to his lips, paused, then put down his chopsticks.

"Look at those online stories about the rich living it up—nine out of ten are broke. The remaining one is making it up."

He took a sip of his drink, the glass clear, the liquid swaying. "What do truly rich people fear most? Being watched. If you live wild, you might get recorded, exploited. Your rivals, your partners, even your family could become threats."

He set the glass down, looking at the cold Yu Xiang Rou Si on the table. "You think we're partying every night? I tell you, we're more exhausted than ordinary people. The average person can relax after work—we can't. Every word we say, we have to think through the consequences."

As he spoke, he rubbed his temples. Deep lines ran across his fingers; his nails were neatly trimmed.

"Of course, there are those who live wild," he switched gears. "But most of them aren't self-made. They're either second-generation rich or nouveau riche. Easy money makes you careless. They think they can handle anything, but then?" He smiled, with a hint of something else. "They either end up in jail, bankrupt, or with broken families. Every rich person who's crashed and burned—you name them—all because they thought too highly of themselves."

Then he said something I still remember. "Money isn't about letting you party harder. Money is about giving you the power to choose not to party."

That's a bit convoluted, but when you think about it, it's true. Ordinary people have no choice, so sometimes they're forced to play, or forced not to. The rich have a choice. They can choose to play or not. They can choose who to play with, or who not to. But many make the wrong choice.

I know a woman who married a rich man. Her husband is in real estate, made a lot in earlier years. She told me a story.

One year, at her husband's birthday, a business acquaintance brought two girls as a "gift" for him to "have fun." Her husband didn't say anything; he had the two girls sit in the living room for tea, then took her to the study and closed the door.

"He asked me, 'Do you mind?'"

"I said, 'It's up to you.'"

"He said, 'Then I'll have them sent back.'"

And he did. That woman said that night, after a few drinks, he leaned back in his study chair, eyes closed, and said, "I've seen too many people crash on this."

She said she looked at him then, the light on his face, deep bags under his eyes, deep nasolabial folds. At fifty, he looked older than his age. Suddenly he opened his eyes and looked at her. "You know, the reason I can sleep well at night is that I've never wronged you." She said her nose tingled. Not from being moved, but from feeling how exhausted he was.

So, what do rich people really get up to in private? I think it's hard to generalize.

Some live extremely wild—wilder than you can imagine. But those people often don't last long. Because flowers that bloom the brightest wither the fastest.

Many more aren't wild. Not because they don't want to, but because they don't dare, or don't have time, or think it's not worth it.

And some were wild once, paid the price, and aren't wild now. Not because they don't want to, but because they dare not even think about it.

Human nature doesn't have that much to do with how much money you have. Poor people can be scumbags, so can rich people. Poor people can be faithful, so can rich people. Money just amplifies who you already are. If you're naturally wild, more money makes you wilder. If you're naturally stable, more money makes you more stable.

So don't blame the money.