Grandpa passed away today.

A person's aging is like autumn leaves, quietly and slowly falling from the tree, then disappearing from this world.
I saw him during the New Year.
Old age means that organs also deteriorate, reproductive, digestive, urinary systems gradually losing function one by one, unable to eat.
In the end, he becomes a pile of flesh with tubes inserted, living painfully.
I talked to him, his cloudy eyes looked at me, unable to speak, as if he could still remember who I am.
But I couldn't tell whether the 98-year-old him wanted to live or to die.
He probably had a strong desire to survive, right? Otherwise, how could he live so long without eating or drinking, relying on IVs?
Grandpa has always been proud and prefers sons over daughters.
He took all the government subsidies given annually to the old Red Army, several ten thousand yuan, and used them to buy a house for the eldest grandson.
He placed all hopes of passing on the family line and glorifying the ancestors on the eldest grandson.
Many years ago, when I went abroad to study and didn't have enough tuition, he didn't help me, borrowing money everywhere.
That left a mark in my heart.
Although I am not the most important person in the family, I happen to be the one who studies and earns the most.
Though I am a Libra, in some ways I am indeed tough and cunning.
So every New Year, I go back to tell him how much I earned this year and what car I bought.
I enjoy seeing his surprised expression and his disappointed sigh at the spoiled eldest grandson, which gives me great spiritual victory and satisfaction.
But even such a stubborn and tough person like him, with the generous medical conditions provided by the government, cannot withstand the cycle of life.
At the beginning of the year, when I went back and talked about grand plans, his eyes could no longer light up, just staring blankly and hollowly.
Suddenly, I felt all my resentment fade away.
And I suddenly remembered his kindness to me when I was young.
For example, when we were poor as children and had no meat to eat,
Grandpa would go into the rice fields to catch field mice, crayfish, and occasionally snakes.
Because he was a surgeon, he could always handle the mice very cleanly.
I don't know if anyone has ever eaten braised field mice, but it’s truly delicious, now that I think about it, it’s somewhat similar to certain bird meat, delicate yet chewy.
When I was young, I had poor skin, always with eczema and other issues.
So after summer rains in Anhui, Grandpa would sometimes bring back snakes from the mountains and make delicious snake soup.
Eating it would immediately improve my skin.
It seems that after I left my hometown, I never ate mice or snakes again.
And also, as a mischievous child, I often got injured or dislocated, and Grandpa would always reset me.
All kinds of illnesses could be treated promptly thanks to him.
People can never truly possess anything forever.
Wealth changes, love fades, family bonds disappear, friendships drift apart.
If we talk about eternity, then the true eternal thing is the experiences brought to me by various people in my life.
If his interactions with me changed my thoughts and my experiences, then he has become an eternal part of my world.
Our bodies are as fragile as reeds, easily broken; but we think and perceive.
Thinking and experiencing give the insignificant person a nobility that surpasses heaven and earth.