Launch a coin: manual for the desperate bettor

What a nonsense this is about launching coins! I've always found it ridiculous that we leave important decisions to chance, but here I am, explaining how to do it virtually because, let's be honest, who carries coins around these days? Nobody!

When you can't decide between investing in that shitcoin your brother-in-law recommended or paying the rent ( ha! ), flipping a coin seems like the lazy solution. After all, both options will probably end up just as badly.

Why the hell use a virtual coin?

1. Because you are too lazy to make decisions

• Nothing like delegating your responsibility to a random algorithm. Who needs brains when you have a "launch" button?
• Perfect for when you debate whether to sell everything on the next dip or HODL like a true masochist.

2. Because physical coins are out of fashion

• Just like your investment strategies. All digital, mate.
• Moreover, with what cryptocurrencies are worth now, who is going to waste a real coin?

Tools for the digital indecisive

1. The almighty Google

• Write "launch coin" and voilà! Cutting-edge technology to decide whether you order pizza or hamburger.
• It's free, which is more than you can say about your last investments.

2. Specialized websites that decide for you

• FlipSim and similar ones. With sound effects and everything, to make the experience of evading responsibilities more immersive.
• Perfect for when you are about to enter that dubious exchange that promises a 300% return.

3. Apps for the coin-launching addict

• Because you need a specific app for this. Of course!
• Bonus: some even remind you how many times you have made bad decisions based on a launch.

What nobody tells you about "randomness"

The creators of these tools swear to you that they are completely random, just like that influencer promised you that his token was "the next Bitcoin." The reality is that algorithms have patterns and developers can manipulate them.

At least the blockchain offers transparency, something I can't say about these coin launch platforms. Who knows if they are programmed to favor certain outcomes?

Questions that nobody asks but I answer anyway

Are these launches really random? As random as the price predictions of the "experts" on YouTube.

Can I flip a coin 10,000 times? Yes, and it is probably more productive than studying trading charts.

Why is this method so popular? Because thinking is hard and taking responsibility for our decisions is even harder.

So go ahead, let a virtual coin decide your financial future. After all, it can't go worse than following those "gurus" on Twitter. And when everything fails, remember: you can always blame the coin.