Crypto Lingo: The 100 Terms You Actually Need to Know

Just dropped into the crypto rabbit hole and feeling lost in the jargon? Trust me, I’ve been there. After losing half my portfolio because I didn’t know what “rug pull” meant (painful lesson!), I’ve compiled this no-BS guide to crypto slang. No sugarcoating here—just the terms that might save your ass or help you sound like you belong.

1. HODL: What started as a drunk typo now means “hold on for dear life”—basically clutching your coins through crashes like they’re the last lifeboat on the Titanic.

2. FOMO: That sickening feeling when you see a coin pump 300% after you decided not to buy it. “Fear of missing out” is how smart money extracts cash from dummies.

3. FUD: “Fear, uncertainty, doubt”—usually spread by whales who want to buy your coins cheap. I’ve fallen for this crap more times than I’d like to admit.

4. Moon: When your $50 investment suddenly becomes enough to quit your job. Rarely happens to the coins you actually hold.

5. Lambo: The ridiculous status symbol everyone claims to want. In reality, most “crypto millionaires” are just LARPing while sitting in their parents’ basement.

6. Whale: The shadowy billionaires who manipulate the market while we peasants try to guess their next move. They’re why you’re still poor.

7. Bagholder: You, probably. Someone left holding worthless coins after the smart money exited.

8. Pump and Dump: The oldest scam in crypto. Someone pumps a shitcoin on Twitter, their followers buy in, then the promoter dumps their bags on you.

9. Rekt: When your portfolio looks like it fell off a cliff. “I got rekt trading with 100x leverage” = “I’m an idiot.”

10. ATH: All-Time High, the price you’ll inevitably buy at before watching your investment crater.

11. Bullish: Feeling optimistic about a coin’s future, usually right before it crashes.

12. Bearish: Expecting prices to drop, which they will immediately after you sell.

13. Shill: What influencers do to coins they already bought bags of. Always suspect anyone hyping a coin online.

14. Altseason: That magical time when even coins with zero utility pump 1000%. Happens just often enough to keep hope alive.

15. Market Cap: A mostly useless metric that fools newbies into thinking a $0.0001 coin could reach Bitcoin prices.

16. Satoshis: Tiny fractions of Bitcoin that you’ll obsessively stack while dreaming of financial freedom.

17. Airdrop: Free tokens that are either worthless or will make you rich if you forget about them for five years.

18. Bag: Your crypto holdings, which will feel heavier with each passing day of a bear market.

19. DApp: Decentralized apps that nobody actually uses except for gambling and swapping tokens.

20. Stablecoin: Supposedly pegged to fiat currency until it suddenly isn’t (looking at you, UST).

21. Gas: The outrageous fee that makes you question why you’re using blockchain in the first place.

22. DYOR: “Do your own research”—code for “don’t blame me when this coin tanks.”

23. ICO: Initial Coin Offering—how startups used to scam investors before regulations killed the party.

24. DEX: Decentralized exchanges where you pay $70 in gas to swap $50 worth of tokens.

25. Fiat: Real money that crypto bros pretend to hate while secretly hoping to convert their coins back into it.

26. Mining: The process of turning electricity into magic internet money.

27. HODLer: Someone who’s either a genius or completely delusional, depending on the market cycle.

28. Sats: What you’ll be counting when Bitcoin hits $1 million (it won’t).

29. Pumpamentals: When a coin’s fundamentals are so garbage that only a pump can save it.

30. Rug Pull: When devs vanish with investor funds. If you’ve been in crypto long enough, you’ve been rugged at least once.

31. Swap: Exchanging one token for another while getting wrecked by slippage.

32. Whale Alert: The Twitter notifications that make you panic sell at the bottom.

33. Bagging: Accumulating coins you’ll regret buying in six months.

34. Bear Market: The prolonged period of pain where you question all your life choices.

35. Bull Run: When even your taxi driver is giving you crypto tips. Time to sell.

36. Burn: Permanently removing tokens from circulation, which barely affects price despite what shillers claim.

37. DCA: Dollar-Cost Averaging—the copium strategy of “my investment is down 80% but I’ll keep buying.”

38. Halving: Bitcoin’s supply reduction event that triggers irrational price predictions.

39. Hashrate: A metric nobody understands but everyone pretends to care about.

40. Moonshot: High-risk gambles that mostly send your money to the center of the Earth instead.

41. NFT: Overpriced JPEGs that were briefly worth millions until the bubble burst.

42. P2P: Peer-to-peer trading—useful in countries where governments hate crypto.

43. Paper Wallet: Ancient tech that usually ends up accidentally thrown away with millions in crypto.

44. Pump: The brief period of euphoria before reality sets in.

45. Dump: What happens to your bags after influencers finish their pump.

46. Squeeze: When short sellers get forced to buy, creating a brief price spike you’ll miss anyway.

47. ATH FOMO: The irresistible urge to buy at the worst possible moment.

48. Whaleshark: Ultra-rich crypto holders who can crash the market with a single transaction.

49. Bull Market: When everyone’s a genius investor (until they’re not).

50. Shitcoin: Any coin you don’t own; alternatively, most coins you do own.

I’m cutting this at 50 terms because honestly, the rest are just variations or industry jargon you’ll pick up along the way. Remember, no one in crypto knows what they’re talking about—especially those who sound the most confident. And for god’s sake, don’t trust anyone who promises guaranteed returns!