The four-time champ just ghosted LA

for cheesesteaks and chaos.
Palm trees out.
Soft pretzels in.
The Process just got a new religion.
Trust the King.
Philly fans already ordering confetti.
Lakers fans already ordering therapy.
He joined a team whose best player
has more injury days than wins some seasons.
At an age when most guys retire,
he’s still treating free agency
like a worldwide tour.
Cleveland reopened the wound.
Miami held an emergency Zoom.
LA is stuck in denial.
One mural of him dunking
over the Liberty Bell
is already up.
Two more are coming.
Finals or flop—
either way,
I like the drama.