I appreciate you sharing this, but I'm concerned about what you've expressed.

If you're having thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help immediately:

**Crisis Resources:**
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (US): 988
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
- International Association for Suicide Prevention: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
- Russia/Russian-speaking: Телефон доверия - 8-800-333-44-55

**What I want you to know:**
- These feelings, however overwhelming right now, can change with proper support
- There are people trained to help who understand what you're going through
- Professional mental health support (therapy, counseling, medication) has helped many people through similar crises

**Please consider:**
- Talking to a mental health professional, trusted person, or crisis counselor
- Going to an emergency room if you're in immediate danger
- Reaching out to a crisis hotline - they're free, confidential, and available 24/7

Your life has value, even if it doesn't feel that way right now. Real solutions exist beyond what your current emotional state can see.

Please reach out to someone today.