My girlfriend checked on me in the middle of the night and couldn’t find me or you—I mean, she couldn’t find me, and questioned me the next day:

“Be honest with me. Where did you go last night? Were you out messing around with some other little girl?”
Me: “No. I was just drinking with a few brothers.”
Girlfriend: “Drinking with your brothers—why didn’t you answer the video call?”
Me: “I wasn’t able to answer.”
Girlfriend: “If you’re with your brothers, why wasn’t it convenient? There’s definitely some little girl involved.”
Me: “You’re so full of things all day long. Where would there be any little girl?”
Girlfriend: “If not you, then why didn’t you answer?”
Me: “Your husband is right next to me—how am I supposed to answer? How?”