Sensitive people are destined to shed more tears

Rather than saying I'm a twisted person
It's more accurate to say I'm an inexplicable person
Getting inexplicably angry, inexplicably wanting to cry
Inexplicably being in a bad mood
Inexplicably dissatisfied with someone
Suppressed, confused, sensitive, fragile
So I always feel love and pain doubly
I have extremely acute sensitivity and strong empathy
Yet sometimes I hate my own sensitivity
It always leaves me with more tears
I never know how to express my emotions
But I desperately wish others could sense how I feel
I am a contradiction myself, every time I want to speak
But I don't know where to begin
Everyone says sensitivity is a gift
But mastering this gift requires a strong heart, which I don't have
The price of this sensitive gift is countless
Mental exhaustion and torment
This personality has only brought me pain
Keeping me awake at night, ultimately washing my face with tears
I'm always wondering if I'm too much
I unconsciously worry about messages that need quick replies
I dislike hot and cold attitudes and deliberate acceptance
I hate my own sensitivity and suspicion
I hate my eyes that often tear up
I hate the messy world
I forever live in others' gazes
I hate that I can't be good at being myself
I'm afraid my grievances and sadness won't be understood
I always feel that others' love for me isn't real
Always being told I'm extreme and radical
Because of a few harshly-toned words
I question others' sincerity toward me
So I always push people around me away
I don't know when I became this broken
The bumps and heartaches along this journey I've never told anyone
I always feel that after being jolted around, I should finally be happy
In the end I can only tell myself... forget it...