When can I finally sleep soundly,

without worrying about anything,
peacefully and happily lying down in a warm bed.
Like when I watched cartoons on the kids’ channel as a child,
Mom said it was too late and I could go to sleep,
reluctant yet satisfied, I fell asleep,
burying my face in the blanket that had just been sun-dried and still smelled of sunshine,
listening to the bedside alarm clock’s second hand tick-tock tick-tock.
The red scarf I’ll have to tie tomorrow,
the smell of grilled sausages at the school gate,
the crayon my desk mate borrowed and hasn’t returned...
Amid these scattered thoughts,
sleepiness gradually comes over me.
In the haze, a hand reaches over to tuck me in—
is it a dream? I can’t tell.
The wind billows the curtains,
the sound of cars outside grows more and more blurred,
and I sleep very, very deeply.
Back when I was little, there were always adults watching me play,
now I’m watching other children at Disney—
so that adult was really my future self...
Time passes far too quickly...
I never thought,
that one day I would be troubled by a few thousand u...
upset about finding a decent job that pays a few thousand,
never had I felt so much like a failure...
This world is so abstract,
when I needed money the least,
I didn’t realize how important money was that I ever made money...
and then let me recklessly lose it all...
I never thought debt and overdue payments would be so close,
so sometimes I really feel life should be the other way around,
so I can say goodbye in Mom’s arms...
I’m so tired, so why make me be born
I’m also afraid that the future child I’ll have will ask me the same thing
I don’t know whether I’m happy or a tragedy