The best way to repay your parents is to let them relive your childhood in their later years. The worst way to repay them is also to make them relive your childhood in their later years. Those who understand this will feel warm inside, but those who see through it will break out in cold sweat. Why? Because as people age, they psychologically and physically regress into a giant baby. At this time, if you happen to have power and money, the way you treat them is often not a choice but an instinctive response. Where does this instinct come from? From how they treated you 30 years ago. Recently, a term has become popular: revenge caregiving. It sounds contradictory—since it’s caregiving, how can it be revenge? Look at the elderly who are under strict control—children don’t let them eat sweets or smoke, claiming it’s for health. Does this resemble how your parents tore up your comic books, saying it was for studying? Do elderly people cry because they feel unwell, while children coldly say, “What’s there to cry about? Be strong”? Does it resemble how you cried in the mall for toys, while they looked down on you with indifference? This is psychological projection and identification.

The children who hold the power of life and death are subconsciously playing the role of the authoritarian parents they once had. Meanwhile, the helpless elderly lying in bed are forced to play the part of the vulnerable woman from the past. This is not simply unfilial; it’s a role reversal across time and space. Under the guise of doing what’s best for them, the pleasure of completely crushing another’s will finally comes back like a boomerang after 30 years, hitting the parents precisely. You can even see this cruel logic at the ICU entrance. Doctors have discovered a counterintuitive phenomenon: when faced with high medical costs, the children most likely to pull the plug and give up treatment are those who were spoiled as children because they are used to taking and cannot bear the pain of reciprocation. Conversely, children who were suppressed, who never received affirmation, and who have been constantly trying to please, will go bankrupt to keep their parents alive even for a day. Is it love? That’s too naive. Psychology tells us this is often a pathological obsession. It’s not just about saving lives. It’s that humble child making one last struggle, subconsciously shouting out: “Look, I’ve done this much, can you praise me once? Can you admit I’m a good child?” That is the true human pain.

Some people, even at the end of their lives, still control their children’s emotions with ventilators, while the children use those tiny bills to buy the everlasting recognition that will never come. So, don’t judge others’ family affairs lightly. The parent-child relationship from previous years was actually scripted by parents themselves 30 years ago. The so-called filial piety is often a return of love. If you gave your child enough security back then, what they project when you lose your ability is tenderness and patience—just like soothing a child. The so-called “white-eyed wolf” is often a twisted form of hatred. The child you ignored and treated with cold violence, even if they give you the best nursing home or hire the most expensive caregivers, will never give you eye contact or warmth in their palms. You reap what you sow. All the loneliness in old age is actually caused by early output of harm. For parents, if you want to know what your later years will look like, it’s simple: think back to how you are treating your helpless child right now. That is what your future will be.