Why do people refuse to help when their children need it the most?

Getting to the main point:

.........................Hello Teacher Zhan, I’ve been learning about investment principles from you for a while now and have gained a lot, but unfortunately I met you too late. I previously messed around on my own and lost quite a bit of principal. Here’s the situation: I plan to reallocate my assets and start over, so I’m seeking financial support from my parents, but they don’t support me (they are financially capable and have no retirement pressure). I’m confused because I am an only child; if they don’t support me now and give me the money in 30 years, I might not need it anymore, and I might also hold a grudge because I always remember how they helped me in difficult times. What are they trying to do? My current principal isn’t much, and if I strictly follow your investment philosophy to allocate it, I might have to sacrifice some of the potential for rapid growth. I understand this is necessary, and I also know how to gradually get rich, so I hope to have more principal to operate with, to avoid acting recklessly out of impatience and falling into traps like going all-in trying to get rich quickly. Right now, I’m stuck on this issue with my parents. Could you give me some advice? Thank you very much.

.............................This classmate, actually, your question has been asked before by someone similar, just that he was much worse off than you. He thought he could identify the right targets and precisely grasp buy-sell points, so he wanted to use his parents’ retirement money to gamble on penny stocks. At least you hope to have more principal so you can confidently allocate it in the right direction. Actually, if we think from the parents’ perspective, it’s very clear. Their money will most likely be given to you in the future, but they don’t want to lose it blindly. Can you understand? There are two reasons: one is they still have 30 years ahead and need more security—parents are first people, they are themselves, and only then are they parents; the other is, although you think you are already “very capable,” you don’t have actual results to support that. Your parents’ information is not synchronized or symmetrical with yours. So the problem lies with you—you must first achieve this. Then, I believe that once they feel secure enough, they might be more willing to do something extra for you. Many children feel resentful about this, thinking “You didn’t help me when I needed you most, don’t expect me to help you when I’m old”—this is a very typical investment mentality. Many believe that being supported by their parents is an investment, which is wrong; it should be based on love. But at the same time, they think “If my parents don’t help me, I won’t take care of them in the future”—isn’t that contradictory? What they expect is for parents to have an investment mindset, that is, “You invest in me now, and I will give you returns later.” Such parent-child relationships are not very healthy. We admit that everyone is selfish, but for better parent-child relationships and to avoid disappointment when investments fail, we should not have expectations from the start. Parents put themselves first, using their remaining energy to help and raise children—that’s more correct. Because whether children reciprocate or not doesn’t matter; it’s like spending spare money in a game—once spent, it’s gone. Children are responsible for their own affairs, not demanding from parents. If they can’t do something, they simply don’t do it. When parents grow old, they only do what they can within their remaining energy to show filial piety. Don’t care about social moral coercion—how much energy they have, they do what they can, always putting themselves first. This way, everyone avoids an investment mentality; when they get along, they share meals happily; when they’re apart, they focus on their own lives. This kind of relationship without expectations is more harmonious—note, more harmonious, not more stable but more painful, with more petty calculations and complaints. Returning to your question about what to do: for anyone with less principal, they need to “earn” their principal themselves, not hope for overnight riches to increase it. Getting rich quickly is good, but it’s not something you can rely on; don’t spend too much energy on it. Just let luck take its course naturally—whether it happens or not, it doesn’t prevent you from spending your time and energy on things that truly “work when you put in effort.” Parents have the obligation to raise their children but are not obligated to be angel investors for their children. When children need money most, translated into investment terms, it’s the riskiest period for losing everything. So, as rational people, your parents’ approach isn’t wrong. This is your own lesson—you need to handle it yourself. Likewise, don’t let any moral coercion influence you in the future. Firmly prioritize your own life, and don’t waver regardless of what others say—that’s your core. Once your core is stable, whatever happens in the future, you won’t be swayed by surrounding noise, won’t hesitate, and won’t waste energy. Wishing you success. #30年期美债收益率突破5%